Motherfuckers

Damn, I leave for three weeks, and my blog is more popular than ever.

Fuck you all, you guys are mean.

Anyways, if you have never read the classic 1950’s book, Black Like Me, pick it up. It’s really interesting to me, however, to the average highschool student it is apparently insanely boring. Difference of opinion, perhaps, or maybe I am just more interested in the 50’s civil rights movements.

Also, sorry for the lack of updates. I have been studying for the SATs in May, and I need to get some astronomical grades if I want to get into a good college. I’ve also been *trying* to make up for the last semester, which was my worst ever. I’ll see about updating regularly.

I Has Interweb

My internet has been down for the last couple days. Just when misfile was getting to a cliff hanger. Can you imagine my delight to find the little picture of a planet on my network status, before I literally knocked my bedroom door (which was open) off it’s hinges to find out what happened?

Let me tell you the horrors of being disconnected from your main source of amusement, it was excruciating!  Dreams of draftroom ingenuity, nationstates wars, the ramblings of bloggers, the constant “lols” of friends who I have never actually met outside of a game, and the sweet sweet drama of lesbians, cars, and sloppy makeouts (all three of those are from Misfile, not porn, despite what it may seem, although I suppose I missed that as well) danced in my head at night.

Anyways, I have blogs and forums to catch up on, and tales of valentines day shenanigans to tell.

Peace.

Vocal Trance Explosion Mission

It’s awesome, my favorite album at the moment. If you like Techno or Dance music, GEEET EEET!

The songs sorta blended in the first play through, but when I started listening, it turned out to be fucking awesome. And it even killed my emo mood. It’s so high energy and the lyrics are awesome, that it’s like instant happy.

Just as a demonstration of it’s mood changing abilities, my mother just washed my MP3 player, and I was extremely pissed. Five minutes later I had stormed into my room and pressed play, and suddenly I didn’t care!

I’d suggest some specific songs, but I love most of them, except for Children 2007, because it played 3 times when I had it on shuffle (Song bird is horrible for shuffle).

Found some pretty funny shit on stumble.

(If the above video says it’s no longer available, refresh)

How Is Babby Formed?

Those are serious questions. They can be found here (babby formed) and here (Instain mother).

How much do YOU love noodles?

So anyways, I feel better. Here’s why.

Usually when I am feeling girl- er, I mean emo, I usually just need a good dose of catharsis.  I try to purge my emotions with a good webcomic or movie, and I usually feel much better afterward. In this case it was a rather good comic (art and story wise), that I wouldn’t be comfortable enough to actually admit to reading.

Other than that, there is this new thing I am trying, that is really working out for me. I am going to bed around 5pm, and waking up around 11pm-12am, and starting my day then. I have to be quiet, but otherwise it really does feel like I am on my own in this house. Although it does mean that several people who are important to me (oh, and my mom, I guess), will have difficulty keeping in touch, but the two most important people in my important people list stay up ’til all hours of the night anyways.

I’ve noted a lot of advantages to this. For instance:

• The end of the school day isn’t this anxious rush to go home. It’s more like a quiet relief, knowing that I am going home, gonna check my emails, catch up on Nationstates, and go to bed. Very stress free.
• It’s quiet at night, which is nice. No one is going to bug me about doing my homework, or anything. Less stress.
• It’s fucking cool, and how many teenagers do that? Take that, conformists!
• If I run out of clean shirts, or pants, for instance, I have 6-7 hours to wash them.
• I study around 4-5 am,  so I go to school with that knowledge fresh in my mind.
•  My day feels like it lasts longer, even though I am sleeping more.
• Speaking of which, I am getting 7-8 hours of sleep, and have time for 2 cups of coffee. I have completely stopped falling asleep in class.
• I love the night. If I want, I can wander my neighborhood and revel in the quiet solitude. Sometimes I just like being alone.
• I can actually have time for a good breakfast, lunch and dinner. No morning rush, or crappy school shit.
• I feel calmer, less stressed. A tiny bit fatigued, but that’ll go away.
• I can catch my favorite webcomics as they update, which is nice. No longer shall I go to school uninformed.
• Faster internet connection.
• Much less times spent on Forums, because no one is online.

The main drawbacks are the lack of other people awake at this hour, and that if I have to stay after for school, it’s 1am according to my internal clock. Also, evertime I wake up I have soemthing like 30 missed calls. Other than that, it’s pretty awesome.

Anyways, I think I have a computer virus. I downloaded AVG Free and Spyware Terminator, so hopefully this problem will solve itself.

Also, I had to write an essay for school, just a quick 1.5 page thing. It’s pretty funny. I’ll post once I have a copy.

Filthy webcomics. They are a tool of Introspection.

I just finished a 918… page, I guess you’d call it, webcomic called Misfile. Honestly one of the best stories I have ever seen, even if it does read like Manga, which I am not a particular fan of.

It’s very well done, but I don’t want to spoil any details (The begining takes 10 or so pages for you to figure out what’s happening. Then it clicks, and you go ‘Ohhh’). Suffice it to say, if you loved Loserz the same way I did (ask my pal Brian, my fandom got creepy at the end) then you’ll love this comic just as much. The main characters of both comics fit perfectly together, if you over look the plot device of Misfile (Oh, I want to say what it is, but I don’t want to ruin it).

Speaking of Loserz, it reminds me of the three days I spent reading the comic before it came to it’s tragic fade into “No updates” land. In fact, the reason I read Questionable Content is because I needed a fix to quell my withdrawal.

Like I did when I first found QC, I took a day off today to finish Misfile. Brian can attest to the fact that I was up until at least 4:07AM, freaking out every thirty minutes at how late it was, but not being able to pull myself away from the computer. Finally I had to steel myself and press the power button, and force myself to bed, but I, being the filthy insomniac I am, couldn’t sleep until 4:30AM.

So now I am at the college, running on an hour and a half nap (I am not even going to call that pithy amount of sleep I got last night anything more), and a cup of coffee that was at least 50% milk.

But all things considered, I am holding up great. Although I have been peeing quite a bit. It doesn’t matter, the college is boring, and it breaks up the monotony.

Anyways, introspection time. One of Misfile’s main characters, the studious Emily, really gave me some insight into myself. Brian has pretty much the same problem, but opposite in a fundamental way (I won’t elaborate. I think it’s rude enough using someone’s name on the internet with out asking, much less posting excerpts from a personal conversation), but we both are asking ‘What are we doing with our lives?’

The fundamental difference is that I am a huge slacker. I am smart, sure, but the futility of taking classes that I know I will never use in the real world frustrates me. Furthermore, none of the work is actually challenging, and so rather than be buggered to do it, I just blow it off because it’s really (and I truely mean this) not worth my time.

And people usually just say, with an air of incredible stupidity “Well if you are so smart, then why don’t you just do the work.” To which I immediately lose all respect for them, because I JUST FUCKING SAID WHY!

Imagine for a second, being asked to write the ABC’s a hundred times during the course of a one hour class, and then finishing it at home. That’s the kind of feeling I get. I automatically know that either A) I know this already, and B) Doing this assignment will never, EVER, by ANY stretch of the imagination help me! So I blow it off in school and read, or draw.

Then I get home, and realize I have to do the assignment. I look it over, and now I am mad at it, because not only is it useless, but it’s infringing upon my free time, which I already feel like I don’t have in the first place.

Then there is school in general. My best friend and I have had a falling out, and so my only real friend is Steph. Beyond that, there are the aquaintences, and the people that might have been close friends if I had met them earlier, and even school-only friends, but really it get’s to a point where you feel like a social leper, and it starts to get to you.

Now right there I can think of one good internet friend that has it way worse, what with all his friends moving (and I feel for him, same thing happened to me early on. Same kinda friends too, the ones you’ve known since before you were in kindergarten), and so I really don’t have much of a right to complain.

It’s just that unless someone builds raport with me really quick, or displays a trait that I find particularly admirable, or just happens to be the only person in the immediate area, I will be nice, and very social with them, but I won’t respect them at all (and as it has been demonstrated, even those prerequisites for respect can vanish the moment you start to prove me otherwise).

I totally take the blame for that, I am very picky when it comes to handing out respect, but at the same time, to me, they have simply failed to earn it. And I won’t respect someone (and therefore like them) if they can’t earn it, because then respect becomes cheap. That’s not to say that I will dislike them, although that is how it goes 10% of the time, usually I can have a cool, casual friendship with that person.

But I digress. The main question is “What am I doing with my life”. What do I want? I suppose I could say a comfortable life with a small group of close friends, and a much larger group of casual friends that I am not terribly invested in, but I have that. I suppose my goal is to simply survive through highschool and go to college, but like Yahtzee Crowshaw playing The Witcher, I’ve really lost sight of the point.

It’s all just bleh. I know I have to go to college, and I don’t want to end up with a minimum wage job as the office bitch, but other than that, I have no real goals. Anything I really consider worth while are too nebulous, too grand for me to realistically think I have a shot at.

So here I am at a cross roads, only with three directions.

I can simply drop out of school, find a trade I am good at, and scrape by doing something I don’t like because I am a wage slave, which really isn’t an option at all.

I can follow my current plan, get a degree in Comp Sci, with a minor in business, and enter the corporate world while advancing my education further, but possibly doing something I hate in the end. (Not to mention my utter disdain for capitalism and corporations in general).

Or I can see about going through with one of my nebulous, “I don’t know what the hell I am doing, but here it goes”… fantasies, for lack of a better word, which will still require a higher education. The main problem with this is that I use the word nebulous for a reason. I am not quite sure what that dream is.

Anyways, I have ranted enough, and don’t really expect anyone to have actually read this.

Cheers, all.

I was in a bus accident, today

A white car full of students clipped the bumper. They had a nice, new car, as well. I saw the paint they left on the bumper, and laughed.

They were laughing too, as the drove off. Us, not so much. Mostly because it took the administrators forever to get there, and the people, regardless of the fact that a police officer was right there, were honking and cutting past us.

The guys who hit us were immediately seen at a McDonald’s, where they apparently got caught.

I was cracking jokes the whole time, especially since my pencil sharpener didn’t make it (it was clearly sick in the first place), and wasn’t long for this world.

Also, the girl seated across from me had an appendix  problem, and was in terrible pain. But don’t worry, she’s just a 9th grader, and therefore expendable.

Anyways, nothing else incredibly interesting happened today. I slept through 4 classes, and when I got home, slept from 5 til 8. Just woke up around 40 minutes ago.

‘Til next time, I guess,

Peace.

One is the second most overstated number.

So I got my english final essay score.

Perfect 4/4. Not that my mad writing skillz particularly shine in this blog. Only 2 other people got the perfect score, so I am stoked.

My only problem is that I need to rewrite my essay, as a class project, to make it better. And unlike some people, I don’t have too much to edit. Although it’s a far cry from last year, when I blew it off (I wrote one sentence and then went to sleep), and only got a 50 on the final. It’s also a bit of a ways away from my pre-cal final, which I needed a 112% to pass the class, and ended up getting a 66.

So since I failed two classes (one by just 2 points, and the pre-cal, which I don’t even need to graduate, and so is even more useless than I’d care to point out), I was moved to a different schedule. That means that I am in a class with one of my best frienemies, and also met this one girl who is very witty, and can draw extremely well. She made me feel like my drawings are straight shit, when before, in my previous art class (just to alleviate the confusion, we are in art together), I was one of the best.

By the way, I got out of the annoying, ambiguously homosexual physic’s teacher’s class. Got a new physics teacher, Mrs. Wolfgang, who mentioned a make up test that I can take to get the credit for last semester. (Physics and Pre-Cal are the tests I failed).

Anyways, in my new art class, the table is quite the crowd. I likened it to a mental hospital, where the girl would be the doctor, the three guys to my right mental patients, the guy on my immediate left an insane person who thinks he is sane, but is pretending to be insane. The guys too his left are the silent orderlies that play no real part until the end of the play.

Moving on, I was missed during my week long absence. There were hugs and high fives now that I am back, accompanied by the occasional “Man, where you been? Did you get kicked out of X-class?” (I could only say yes half the time, even though I was moved around a lot. something like 4 out of 7 classes).

Also, where ever I wasn’t moved out of the class, I got a new seat, or someone I knew gets to sit next to me. Only one class is completely the same (and is the one class where most of the people hugged or high fived me, and asked me where Ihad been, with the exception of Caesar, who shakes hands and slaps backs).

Not much more to say. I guess I’ll leave it at that. Although I will not that this has read more like a journal entry than anything else.

I like monkeys too.

So I found this on teh StumbleUpon, and it made me laugh so hard that I think my back popped.

Enjoy.

http://people.redhat.com/blizzard/monkeys.txt

Because it’s just not E. Coli unless it’s shooting out both ends

My flu has gotten worse, not better. I can see straight, now, though, which is a nice change.

So I don’t think I am going to school until at least thursday or friday. I am also too fucked up to think of an interesting topic to write on. Sorry bout that.